#LoveIsNotTourism: Heartbreak of binational couple separated during SA lockdown

Source: IOL, 20/07/2020

A life put on hold is in many repects tantamount to a life
unlived.
Being rendered `homeless` and forced to live a life in limbo has
led to the #LoveIsNotTourism global movement and spawned
#LoveIsNotTourism SA. Especially now that tourism is picking up
again, they decree `love is an essential need` and `a life without
love is, in many ways, a life devoid of meaning`. Only the
heartless will disagree.
The Danish, Austrian and Norwegian governments, among others, have
seen the light. Starting on July 15, it has allowed cross-border
couples separated during the pandemic to reunite. People from
outside the EU will be able to travel to Norway if they can prove
they are in a real romantic relationship with someone who lives in
Norway.
According to the Norwegian government, a relationship is defined
by two metrics: the couple must have been together for at least
nine months and they must have met in person at least once.
Canadian Laura McMahon, 34, and her partner are among the families
and lovers around the world who have been patiently waiting to be
reconciled with their loved ones in South Africa. For Laura, it
has has been an agonising four months, with no definite end in
sight when she will be reunited again with the love of her life,
South Africa-born and raised Jesse Jeffrey, 32, a general manager
and student at a business school.
A healthworker who is busy with her Master`s degree, Laura said:
`It just so happened that I had to travel to South Africa in order
to find him. After dating for some time, we found ourselves
planning a life together in South Africa.
`Unfortunately, whilst on a trip to Canada to obtain a certificate
of non-impediment to marry in South Africa, those plans were
upended. After a 38-hour journey, I landed to the devastating news
of South Africa`s border closure.
`To our dismay, it has been four long and painful months of
separation. Instead of building a life together, we find ourselves
on endless video calls at odd hours of the day, lamenting our
situation, and feeling utterly hopeless.
`After months, some have begun to take matters into their own
hands. Inspired by the #LoveIsNotTourism movement, the group
#LoveIsNotTourism SA was born. We are a group of all ages, creed,
and race, who have come together with one common narrative â€`
heartbreak.
`While we contribute to the South African economy through regular
long-stay visits, we are not yet South African citizens. For now,
we are lumped into the category of tourists.
`We implore the government to hear our call: Love is not tourism,
it is an essential human need. With no pandemic end in sight, we
feel it is time for families, married and unmarried couples to be
reunited once again.
`We call on the government to stand up for love, for the
compassionate and inclusive South Africa they are trying to
create. For a future that believes in goodness, equality.`
Laura told IOL on Monday the SA government `has just begun
allowing submissions of appeal for married couples, but so far
there isn`t a provision for non-married couples partners`.
`I have just now submitted a 37-page document confirming the
veracity of our relationship and our cohabitation together. In
addition to the lacking provision for non-married couples, the
complicating factor is that visas must be submitted along with
appeals.
`Most of us no longer have a visa. Many of us have entered visa-
free and had a series of long-stay visits. This hasn`t been a
problem in the past. We need to be allowed to either apply for
visas or enter visa-free. The SA High Commission in Canada is
closed so there is no way to apply for visas.`
While saving lives is obviously paramount, love cannot be ignored
or neglected; Laura feels the government must include the `love
sick` in its plans.
`We do understand that the SA government has been dealing with a
lot, and we haven`t felt like ours was a priority compared to some
of the other issues. However, after four months and no foreseeable
end to the pandemic, we feel they must start looking at creative
solutions to these sorts of problems.
`Our lives have been devastated because of this and will continue
to be until we are able to be reunited in South Africa. We feel we
can, and should, be allowed to travel before the government
considers opening up tourism since the activities we wish to do
are low risk.
`We want to comply with all the safety rules and are happy to
quarantine since we are coming for long stays anyway. We
appreciate all the government has done to listen to feedback and
modify regulations where possible, and hope our case will be given
equal thought and care.
`Our story is just one of many similar tales of heartbreak and
frustration on the website #LoveIsNotTourism. As a group, we feel
that our essential need to reunite with our loved ones has been
neglected. While we don`t believe this oversight is intentional,
we do feel it is one which demands the immediate attention of
government officials.
`During such a trying time, we all need support. We do not wish to
return to South Africa to sightsee; in fact, we don`t believe it
is time for sightseeing just yet.
`We simply wish to be reunited with our loved ones to support one
another during this global crisis. We have created a petition,
which is garnering more and more signatures every day.`
It`s not only love that has bound Laura to South Africa, the
country has captured her heart as well. With no wordly possessions
in Canada, South Africa has become her home.
`From the time I met my partner, we were family. We shared a love
of nature, activity, animals and food. We bonded over a common
world view, even though we came from very different backgrounds.
`We became intimately immersed in both the best, and the worst, of
our two cultures. Through our unlikely union, we learned and grew
as individuals. We marvelled over the series of events which had
to unfold, just as they did, in order for us to find one another.
We felt very lucky, and we were happy.
`As our relationship blossomed, settling into a life in South
Africa was natural: I had the flexibility, he did not. My partner
has strong ties to South Africa, through both his work as a
general manager and his studies at business school. For us,
building a life in South Africa made sense. I grew to love the
country, and the people. Over time, my life became more and more
entangled with South Africa.
`Beyond the very obvious emotional, spiritual and psychological
effects that come with being stuck here, there are a plethora of
logistical implications. Today I am effectively homeless. I have
no worldly possessions in Canada, save for the small suitcase I
came with in March.
`The ambiguity over when I will be able to return to South Africa
has created a life of limbo for both my partner and me. I hesitate
to re-establish my life here, when the borders could reopen the
next day.
`Meanwhile, in South Africa our lease is coming to an end. Does my
partner rent a smaller, more affordable place, for one? Or, does
he assume I will be home soon, and rent a larger, less affordable
place for two? These are the kinds of nagging questions that we
are consumed with. Each day I desperately comb through the news,
looking for answers, for signs that I might see the man I love
again.
`As I mentioned, internet calling has allowed us to see, and talk
to one another during this joyless time, but it is no substitute
for the support a simple hug can communicate. A relationship based
on video calls alone is untenable. We carry on because we know our
love is irreplaceable.
`In the wise words of the Dalai Lama, `Love and compassion are
necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive`.`
There are no definite dates yet when international travel can
start under level 1 of the lockdown, with the beginning of 2021
being a worst-case scenario, but South Africa’s tourism sector is
lobbying for it to be as soon as September.
Hopefully, love and common sense will triumph.
www.samigration.com